Harvard negotiator William Ury wrote several books on conflict and negotiations. Two famous books are "Getting to Yes" and "Getting Past No." Ury suggests that conflict is handled more effectively if people:
Allow others to "save face." Often personal and "dignity" issues get in the way of solving a conflict. Sometimes it is useful to help certain group members make small gains.
- Bake a "larger pie."
Ury suggests that often people act on the assumption of a "fixed pie." This means that the only way to solve a problem is to give one party a part of what it wants so that the other party may take its fair share.
- Instead, Ury argues, pies can also be made "bigger" when various goals and interests are brought to the table. After all, people involved in negotiations may have myriad wants and needs. A full understanding of these wants/needs may lead to creative solutions in which each party has a resaonable portion of its wants/needs resolved.
- For instance, Ury gives the example of two individuals at a library bickering over a window. One person wants it closed, the second wants it open. A librarian asks the individuals to explain what they really want. One person says "I want fresh air." The second person says "I don't want a draft." The librarian opens a window at the back of the room, thus bringing fresh air without a draft.
